Gravity's Rainbow, tho

That is a piss-poor excuse for skipping over basic English fundamentals.

Yesterday satirical sports website SportsPickle published an amusing story on Brian Urlacher's retirement, claiming the Bears linebacker was retiring but signing a one-day contract with the Packers so he could "go out a winner." Today, while broadcasting coverage of the ACC baseball tournament, NESN ran that story—with the quotation—as actual news.

It's the latest in a long line of media outlets being fooled by satire sites, but this one's especially embarrassing. SportsPickle has been around long enough that it's made the cycle from funny to not-so-funny and back again (your mileage may vary). Anybody working in news should know by now it's a satire site. Good job, good effort NESN.

h/t to Rich

It turns out last night's Idiot in Kansas City wasn't the only maniac to invade a playing field. Here's a gent who rushed onto a horse track during a harness race and ended up spooking one of the competitors.

Maywood Park, outside Chicago, is a legendary harness racing venue. We can't imagine drivers figured they'd be dodging human traffic, though, when they strapped themselves into their sulkies for the evening's tenth race of pacers around the half-mile oval. We'd love to get more information on this moron, whose interference led to race favorite Summer Party getting spooked and eventually declared a non-starter by track officials. (Long shot Cee Cee's Delight would end up winning, paying out $18.80.)

h/t to Cole

In what was a good night for bad fans, a spectacular play by Nate McLouth resulted in retribution from a Blue Jays fan who chucked what appears to be a full can of beer from the Rogers Centre upper deck at the Orioles outfielder.

While the beer missed its target, it's an impressive heave nonetheless given the distance it appears the fan (who was quickly identified and ejected) had to throw it. Blue Jays fans, of course, have a reputation for brew-based projectiles; in fact, it's a bit of a Toronto sports tradition in general. [MASN]

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We were blessed during tonight's Angels-Royals matchup to get an Idiot On The Field who not only earned live TV time, but pulled a decent stunt to boot.

With one out in the bottom of the eighth inning, this barbecue-fueled fan rushed onto the field, stormed the mound, stole the pitcher's rosin bag, and eluded a cop in pursuit, (His escape didn't last long.)

The above video's from the Angels' FSW broadcast. Here's how it sounded on FSKC:

h/t to Sean

Must have been a real bitch for Thetis to hold a baby by its knee to dip into the river Styx.

h/t to Ryan

I'M THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH

Last night's loss to the Heat hurt for a Pacers team that hit two late shots to tie in regulation and take what looked like a winner at the charity stripe in overtime, but it was especially painful for David West—mostly because of Norris Cole's blast to the 'nads.

Cole earned a player control foul for the act, one that set up the Pacers to eventually tie the game on Paul George's desperation heave. Amazingly, it wasn't even the only low blow in last night's contest.

This is a Deadspin Video, in which strange sports moments are slowed down to ridiculous speeds and matched with indie music. This video features "That Boy Yr With Is A Dick" by Boyracer. See previous episodes here.

B.J. Upton reacts to finally looking at his batting average.

Reverse'd.

Memphis came back from a mighty deficit to force overtime in San Antonio (thanks to a questionable late flagrant foul call) but couldn't pull out the victory. It led one fan nearby to issue quite the verbal ejaculation. Deadspin I-Team, assemble.

[ESPN]

San Antonio's leading Memphis by 15 at the half, but even given the Grizzlies' struggles that's a bit of surprise; neither team has looked especially good tonight.

The Grizzlies, though, could stand to sharpen their teeth. Here's a 20-second sequence of pure futility that helps explain why they're down 46-31. [ESPN]

College baseball generally escapes the radar until College World Series time, but those of us in SEC territory are fortunate to see quality baseball all season long. This double play turned by Alabama in today's SEC Tournament game against rival Auburn is highlight reel-worthy at any level.

That it came in the seventh inning of a tie game is even more impressive. Both Alabama and Auburn are having down years—neither team has a winning conference record—but with defense like this, the Crimson Tide may be put together for a surprise NCAA tournament run. (They went on to beat the Tigers 6-3.) [SECN]